Why Do We Resist Starting Over When It Could Be the Answer to Our Problems?
Imagine spending one-third of your life doing something that doesn’t make you happy. This seems crazy, and yet, more professionals are falling into a cycle of believing that having a job they tolerate is normal. When you consider that 85% of people hate their jobs, you wonder what keeps them from doing the same thing every single day? Maybe it’s not so crazy for you, because it is the place you find yourself right now.
At the root of this tendency to settle is a resistance to change. It’s hard to change a significant part of our lives even when we know it’s making us unhappy. We can be so afraid of making mistakes and failing in front of others that we don’t take action, and we just accept things as they are.
“We can get into a cycle of believing that hating our work is normal. So we have a workforce of people who are unengaged, uninspired, and unfulfilled in their jobs.” - Blake Schofield (1:08-1:33)
Climbing the Ladder, and Getting Stuck
Most professionals start on the same path. They don’t know what to expect when they’re fresh out of school, and face pressure from others to prove themselves and climb the professional ladder.
Often we feel that making more money and moving up the ladder will make us happier. And then, when we find that our career path isn’t as exciting or energizing as we hoped, we find ourselves looking for the next promotion or next company in search of fulfillment. It can be so discouraging when the excitement of a new job begins to wear off & start resembling the same feelings you had before with that nagging sense that something is missing.
Over time, it can become easy to resign yourself and think, “This is just how it’s going to be.” By normalizing your circumstances and convincing yourself to accept that there’s nothing better out there for you, it becomes harder to try new things, and easy to become entrenched in a career that no longer fits. Fear can stop us from taking the very actions that will provide exactly what we want, which is why it is so important to understand the reasons why we’re afraid and the ways we handle fear. Fear is an emotion like any other. It is powerful, and can feel paralyzing. But it’s also an opportunity to explore what you’re really afraid of and question if it’s actually true.
Where Did You Learn to Resist Change? Our beliefs about change can also lead to resistance. Our beliefs are formed early in our lives - as children. Through the year, we reinforce those beliefs by looking at our life through the same lens. But the problem is that as children, we have a limited perspective and many times, misinterpret what circumstances and situations really meant. Think about it: change is hard as a child because we rarely have control over the change that occurs in our lives...change happens TO us. Also, many times that change maybe painful because of lost relationships or other emotions rather than the actual experience of change itself. . However, life events, through the lens of a child, can shape the way we view change as we grow into adults. When I was young, my parents divorced, causing us to move twice. I was uprooted from a safe environment with friends, comfort, familiarity, and moved to a place where I didn’t feel like I fit in. I went from having a great group of friends to feeling like an outsider and being pushed up against a corner in the girl’s bathroom being bullied by a popular girl. In this season of my life, change was so painful, difficult, and confusing. This became my lens for change - how I began to process it from that point on, but the reality is that the change itself wasn’t painful, it was the lack of control and emotional connections to my friends that was painful. Looking at the Positive Results of Change When we experience change as negative, we overlook the positive aspects of change. In fact, change isn’t actually what’s difficult. Through diving deep to understand your perspectives on change & seeking out memories of times when change resulted in positive aspects for your life, you’ll begin to see that change can be empowering & exciting. Think about what you want to change in your life. Is it your career? Is it your work-life balance? Your relationships?
What are the beliefs that stand in the way of you making these changes? Examining and reframing the fears, beliefs and doubts that are standing in your way will help you to make a successful transition into your new self. “Making a career shift or transition into entrepreneurship can be done step by step to mitigate risk and fear.” - Blake Schofield (18:37-18:52) Working with a mentor or coach can help you uncover & move past the fears and doubts standing in your way, provide the right guidance, support and direction to build a bridge to your new career.
You can create a step-by-step process that lets you transition as slowly or as quickly as you’d like which helps to mitigate risk, fear and compromising for a path that won’t truly create the life you want.. Change really is a gift when you see the positive things that can happen as a result of taking new actions. Change is a doorway to peace, happiness, and fulfillment in life. But it’s up to you to open that door and take the first step.
How to Get Involved If you would like to see how I can help you get the clarity & plan in place to create a more fulfilling career & life on your terms, schedule a free strategy call today. You can get access to valuable resources and training by joining my free facebook group here.
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