Feeling unfulfilled? Re-evaluate where you're looking for answers.
If you're searching for fulfillment in your life and career, consider the following...
Would you know it if you got it?
Having true clarity is the first step to creating meaningful change in your life. So many of us not only lack clarity, but also the understanding required to find it. This is because we all grow up with limiting beliefs and a relatively narrow perspective based on how we've been conditioned and taught.
“Achievement vs. fulfillment - If we do what we are fulfilled by, we will achieve. - Blake Schofield (13:25)
There are a number of self-limiting beliefs that keep us from clarity, but there are a few that are extremely prevalent for professionals.
Good things take a long time to reach. Most of us have been told throughout our lives that we have to make decisions slowly, do our research, and put in hours of thought. Although this makes us feel good, it often ends up being a massive waste of time and energy. Ask yourself if the results were really worth all the effort.
We can, and should, wait for inspiration. This one speaks for itself. We often wait for clarity to hit us like a bolt of lightning, instead of taking steps to reach it for ourselves.
If I can't figure it out, no one else can help. After we have exhausted ourselves with endless research and planning, we imagine that we've done all that we can do and that no one could do any better for us. This idea negates the importance of perspective in reaching clarity. You can't read the label from inside the bottle. An outside opinion can be an invaluable resource to help you achieve a wider perspective.
Once you start looking inside yourself for clarity, the real work starts.
The best way to progress towards much-needed clarity is by asking deep questions of yourself to gain more understanding.
What do you value?
What unique skills and experience do you bring to the table?
What are you passionate about?
What do you want your legacy to be?
Through the process of cultivating understanding, you may begin to understand the limiting beliefs you hold, and your perspective may begin to shift as you see possibilities for your life that have been “hidden in plain sight.”
Imagine you're going on a road trip. Although you got your car detailed before you left, as you drive, a layer of gunk and grime begins to coat your windshield. Your wipers may help, but eventually, you'll run out of fluid and find yourself with a dirty window and an obscured view.
This is a common experience in our lives as well. High-powered women frequently find that they have spent so much time nurturing their career and building their family that they don't take time for themselves, and are now trying to drive with a grimy windshield.
“That unsettlement, that lack of fulfillment, those were the signs I was doing the wrong thing.” - Blake Schofield. (21:00)
Why do we have such an issue with clarity?
The foremost reason is that we believe that answers are supposed to come from outside. Our favorite books, websites, and speakers on YouTube are meant to give us the insight we seek, but if you're looking for something in the wrong place, you simply won't find it.
This belief also stems from the concept that achievement equals fulfillment. They are not the same thing. We believe that when we hit a revenue goal or get that big promotion we'll be happier, but somehow all these things still leave us empty. This is because the answers we need are inside us, albeit heavily obscured by our limiting beliefs and conditioning.
Jamie Smart's book on clarity likens the search to a trap. Until you realize you're snared, you won't be able to free yourself. But once you see that you're caught, you can figure out how the trap works and get free. The best way to find out you are stuck? Enlist someone who can see the trap from a different angle and help you get out. It is even more helpful if they got out of the same trap themselves.
Statistics tell us that 85% of people are unhappy in their jobs, and, even more shockingly, that adults will spend a whopping 80% of our lives at work.With that in mind, ask yourself if you're really okay with spending that 80% in something that doesn't bring fulfillment. Also, consider that if you spend 80% of your life doing something you no longer love, it will begin to eat away at the quality of the other 20%, guaranteed.
The process of gaining clarity is simple, but it isn't easy. It's also not a one-time, soul-searching experience. Your search for fulfillment and the broadening of your horizons should be a continual practice. That may seem daunting at first until you build the skill, but pretty soon you’ll realize that the results will give you unimaginable freedom.
Here is a valuable worksheet to help you with your clarity process! These are some of the questions and steps I utilize with my clients, and it’s sure to help you gain some perspective. Remember, clarity is one of the first steps to fulfillment!
How to Get Involved
If you would like some help to figure out what could be next for you, schedule a free strategy call today.
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